10.44 am in Singapore

dear diary..
that's it/.. he has been using me all the way.. making fun of my feelings for him... abusing me ... mocking ... sooo funnyy...
i hate him, man.. hate him so much now that i wan kick his big ass good-bye.. wana make him suffer as much as i am now.. wana make him regret his miserable life of shit... wana make him wana die...
*sigh* all these r just stupid words of anger.. i just know it.. but wat else can i do..
why in this fucking world do i have to love somebody like that// i'm not even sure how he feels about me.. in any case, it could not be love.. may be a distraction.. something funny that can be done from time to time.. hate him so much taht stupid moron...wana make him suffer...
yesterday nite was the last drop... i just ask him 4 help.. but no.. he cant.. damned stupid man.. damned selfish and heartless...wat if something really happen to me n mel?? wat would happen.. somehow i really wish that something could have happened so that his conscience would not be at ease.. but does he have one?? i doubt now.....
i hate his rude way of talking... his impolite way of talking.. of ssaying that he falling asleep already.. as if dismissing me or sometjhingf like that... he rhink that he is wat?? the king may b.. damned him/.. just go to hell, man...

steffyy

3.06 pm in Singapore

dear diary..
studying.. have alreadi gone through the first papewr.. i fluked.. i got this feeling of failure..
but why i'm writing is bcuz..
i was thinking of himm.. so sad.. yesterday saw him.. very late..
was soo happyy..
i made the small flowers to give to all my neighbours 2 wish them luck 4 e exqams...
n somehow i made one for him.. why i dunnoo..
in fact when i made the first one, i took more than one hour to do so... may be bczu i care.
i just know that the first one will be for him.. i wana so much to give him.. but i dare not..
wat if he refuses... wat if he just make fun of me..
what if i just slide it under his door and do nothing>>
wat if i just dun give him..
i stare at the flower n think of him.. so lame rite..
c how lahh.. going to study..
just wanted to tell ya that i was thinking of him n somehow i miss him.... miss him soo much....
*sigh*

luv
steffy