12.49 am in Singapore

today i went to cut my hair.. aya it';s okie lor. nothing great.. i dun feel prettier wat.. nvm... but at least i get to go n chim wta..
okie here os the stupid details of a girl who is madly in luv with sunnyboy.. hhaha
i change my nick to "rinoa heartily feels weird wiz her new haircut".. i knew it that he will mesage me.. :p
smart rite hahah anyway.. so he asked me lah.. then he asked me to come over n c,.. soo sweet.. :P
anywya we talk a bit lahh.. :P wateva.. this do sound lame wat.. :P i saw him during dinnner.. so cute,..
he is going nite cycling.. so happy.. but since i duno how to cycle, i'll be in car.. aya....
so lousyy.. nvm.. i hope that i get to c him cycle wat... :P

anywya let not make my world centered around him...
the one who cut my hair, is named henry,... very funny.. he even took my foto .. hahah not that my pretty or wateva.. may be bcuz to tak souvenir lah ahhah.. nvm...

i duno why i like that stupid sunnnyboy..

for choir tonite.. i had a very minor role.. but i dunno if i can make it lah.. aya,.. soo shy on stage ahh..
anywya tomor got mid-exams for econ.. arggg
need to go n study...

luv
steffy

8.38 am in Singapore

yeah yesterday is just another rough day in my little life again.. ayaaa i feel so tired ahh.. my whole shoulder is soo stiff.. oyy i yearn for a good massage ....

anyway, yesterday was also an important day bcuz he messaged me in the morning.. so strange.. anyway he was waiting for his presentation.. guess that he did not have anything to do ma... nvm.. bcuz he also messaged Karen.. ... anyway..
we talked.. about the theme cartoon characters for the c4... anyway i dun care if he found me to be too childish.. i think that i fight with him too much... n most guys do not like it... ayay am i screwing up?? ayay i really dunno.. according to his sign, btw is scorpio.. 3 of november.. if he had been libra./... aya i would have given up more easily bcuz will never get along wat.. but of all the 12 signs, he has to be of the same watery sign as me.. n one of the most compatible ayyaya this is getting damned complicated..

i also mailed him yerterday.. sholwing the pictures of a good theme for c4.. the daltons.. suit them so nicely hahaha.. :P.. then we chat a bit.. but i really needed to go n study.. so i just left rind of suddenly.. may bei just dun wana have in vain hope.. talking to him.. seeing him will make me think of a possible hope.. nahh too painful ahhh.. i dunno if i want to.. nvm...

then the most surprising thing is that just before he went to sleep, he messaged me nite.. ayay this is too sweet lahh.. i wonder why?? i kept telling myself that may be he did this to everyone on his list.. quite unbelievable.. ayya.. dun think too much plzzzzz.. i think that i can get crazyy if not alreadi.. yeah lor.. crazy with him wat hahahah

some other cute stuff.. ronghe takes my mail to give.. wallah soo sweet also... monkeeyy is so sweet anywaay...

it was a letter from asma.. man, how i miss her ahh.. i think that i need to mail her.. n post some letters.. but this week dun have time ahh.. so sad... hope that she is okie..
i think that i'm gonna fone home this sunday.. i miss them wat...
aya should not think too much lahh bcuz got mid-exams hope i can last tonite n morning.. i really got tons of things to study ahhhh

luv
steffy

9.29 am in singapore

aya.. soo lousy... i think that i'm losing track of time.. i wake up at 8.45.. should have been able to tak the canteen food.. but i thought that the time was over ... so lame.. anyway i went to sleep at 5+ am.. so tired... BUT i did one extra chapter of revision...which means less today hahahah.. =)
the most interesting thing about today.. early this morning.. i was not ther.. studyingin reading room and then shift to tv lounge.... he message me... so happyy :P he wanted to give me back the picture ahh.. then i told him that i'm gonna come to his room.. :P i went.. thne he was lying on the bed.. he did not seem in a hurry to give me back the pic.. i dun mind.. oh... he is quite lousy ahh.. he did not told me to sit.. but i sit anywya haahh.. somehow.. we had the longest person to person conversation.. even more happy =)
we talk about all n everything.. he is damned soo cute,man... his small eyes r sooo sexy ahhhh.. :P why do i sound pathetic ahhhh..
we had fun.. looking for the word curtain online.. he kept saying curton.. ... aya pronounciation bad.. but i let him win anyway. hahaha
we talk.. for around 1 hour ahh... at 2.15 he looked very tired .. so i prefer to go lah.. so sweet..
when i passed by, i saw his lights off... i knew that he had not yet come bak from classes.. indeed, he came bak at 9 .. ayay poor baby..
he is e oldest of 4 sons.. soo cute..
he told me that the 1st day he came here in singapore, he was 13.. and he got homesick.. and he cried.. this is soo touching.. admitting crying from a boy, is sure another thing... :P
somehow, i feel conquered again... aya now this looks damned bad.. i just dun have e time,... n he also ahh... he has to study.. i think that he wants to increase his cap so as to do honors... so admirable n impressive...

anyway.. need to go n eat my breakfast.. milo, one yoghut bar n some biscuits.. on diet ma.... fidou just told me that i look a bit fattter.. ouin ouinnn

12.05 pm in in singapore

yesterday was sooo tiring.. but the part that i was expected the most was the block supper.. yueah finally.. it is not that i want that block meeting or wateva.. it's just that i wana see him.. i know the excuse iss so lame.. hahah i dun care a long as i can see him wat..
so i was quite excited about the whole thing.. i even wanted to get away from choir rehearsal just to see him.. .. i even arrived there earlier than supposed..
then he was not there.. i think that he got tution or i dunno.. so sad.. so depressing.. anywya i wun let a boy ruin my nite.. so i had fun, fooling around.. laughing and having fun wat..
then he came.. my heart somehow flipped.. i was just turning my head aorund and then there he was.. ohh btw his hair was quite lousy ahha.. but anyway, it was finally him.. he came finally hahah. then i dun want him to know how happy i may be.. so i turned back.. but i stayed at the same place.. near to him.. may be i could not move.. i dunno.. all i can hear, was the beatings of my heart.. so pathetic ahhhh.. so lame...
his hair was lousy.. his t-shirt also.. wateva...
then, i felt that i have to get away, so i went to the other end.. n ignore him the whole nite.. i did not even talk to him at all..
then there was that future birthday celebration.. i was soo happy.. i dunno why.. that he went in fron.. may be so that i can see him.. ayay this is even more pathetic ahhh... he got chocolate cakes.. ahhh he gave to karen.. i dunno why but i was envious.. why her?? is it because they went out together before.. argghhh anyway.. i still cannot understand what is my problem.. in fcat i'm quite envious that they being so close.. ayay may be i should really stop being stupid eyy..
did i tell u that i got the foto from DND.. ahhh he is sooo cute.. n the picture is so nice.. not like others.. whenever i got free time, i stare at the foto, wishing that somehow, somewhere somthing could become true,.. *sigh****
anyway.. then we took foto of block.. C .. he was siting just in front of me.. *sigh*..
anyway, then i prefer to leave.. wat's the purpose... so not worth it rite??..

alter after all n everything... i went bak to my room..
feeling damned soo tired...
but then i wanted to talk to him.. so i message him telling him about the fotos.. DND one lah..
he asked to c.. i said later i scan lahh.. but he want to c now..
i said okie lor.. just wait on the c4 bench.. but he said commee to his room.. wallah so exciting... stupid of course no lah.. i'm soo tired, man...
anywya i went.. aya.. his friends wer all outside.. so paysei.... anywya.. his room very plain.. no cosiness.. no warmth.. may be it suits him best.. anyway.. i just showed him the pics.. he took the foto to be scanned.. :P
i dun mind.. hahahah nvm... but i will miss the foto lah.. i wanted to buy a frame.. secret admirer... so exciting ahh.. :P anyway.. how about enlarging teh foto ahha.. damned this looks like a sicko writing.. wateva... may be i'm sick.. :)

anywya that was quite exciting..
soo tired,,.. wana go sleep but still got so much to do ahhh..

9.28 pm in singapore

this is a song that i like particularly.. not bcuz it is loud or very good.. it is simply the words that ring something in my mind...
soo silly i know.. anyway c e song 1st..

Lee Ann Rimes - Right Kind of Wrong
Know all about
About your reputation
And how it's bound to be a heartbreak situation
But I can't help it if I'm helpless
Every time that I'm where you are
You walk in and my strength walks out the door
Say my name and I can't fight it anymore
Oh I know, I should go
But I need your touch just too damn much
Loving you isn't really something I should do
Shouldn't wanna spend my time with you
That I should try to be strong
But baby you're the right kind of wrong
Yeah baby you're the right kind of wrong
Might be a mistake
A mistake I'm making
But what you're giving I am happy to be taking
Cause no one's ever made me feel
The way I feel when I'm in your arms
They say you're something I should do without
They don't know what goes on
When the lights go out
There's no way to explain
All the pleasure is worth all the pain
Loving you isn't really something I should do
Shouldn't wanna spend my time with you
That I should try to be strong
But baby you're the right kind of wrong
Yeah baby you're the right kind of wrong
I should try to run
But I just can't seem to
'Cause every time I run you're the one I run to
Can't do without, what you do to me
I don't care if I'm in too deep
Know all about
About your reputation
And how its' bound to be a heartbreak situation
But I can't help it if I'm helpless
Every time that I'm where you are
You walk in and my strength walks out the door
Say my name and I can't fight it anymore
Oh I know, I should go
But I need your touch just too damn much
Loving you isn't really something I should do
Shouldn't wanna spend myh time with you
That I should try to be strong
But baby you're the right kind of wrong
Yeah baby you're the right kind of wrong

i know that he was a buaya but i still think that somewhere he is not.. and he is much more than others talked about.. n much more that he wana show us all.. n much more than he may know himself...
i know that i should not have fallen for him.. in fcat at 1st, i would never hav fallen for him.. then he came near to me,, n somehow he touches my heart.. now.. i really need his touch which i dream all nites.. since that nite..
it may be dumb.. it may sound silly.. but watevea he may give to me, i'm ready to take.. the least luv or like it can b
how can i be sooo sttupid.. wat a terrible dilemma.. i feel like dying just to see him say that he likes me..

1.28 pm in singapore
today i skipped n will b skipping all classes.. got so much work to do,.. when i first came here, i always thought that i could always cope.. i dunno if i'm coping or not.. at least i'm not dyying wat.. this is ohhh so much work lahh.. i need to finish one big history esay fro tomor.. btw, i hate history.. i dunno the purpose of studying it.. ayaaa... this life really sucks... i dun have the time 4 nothing.. i just wana to have my full beauty sleep.. have some fun.. watch some movies.. fall in luv.. hahahah sooo funny rite?/ now i feel dumb...
i just wana a break.. some rest.. some peaceful moments when i wil not b rushing to do assignments ... studying like mad for tests... thinking about a design or posters for my committeess.. and above all... peace of mind...
in these moments, i feel like breaking down n cry.. cry all my soul.. so that i can wash away all the troubles.,, al the worries.. all the burdens.. all the responsibilities...

tonite or rather this morning.. bcuz i slept at 6 in the morning.. doing my posters...
i dreamt about taht guy in my hall, weida.. he is physically strong.. and since he was in the commando army, well he sure is strong lah... btw i dunno why i dream about him.. i dun even talk to him or know him that well.. just know him bcuz he was in pageant.. anyway..
yeah my dreams was quite strange.. there were a group of guys... who were exercising.. they have been exercising for quite a very long time.. but compared to weida, the others were quite skinny and looking weak type.. but the funniest thing was that they were betting at wat time, weida is gonna fall and give up... but then it could be seen that weida was sweating the most and was having some difficulty to breath.. it looks like some commercial about heart failure.. that some fat person have stronger endurance than any normal person but who has heart failure or something like that lah..
then weida actually fell.. n i duno where i came from.. i rush to catch him before he falls.. i did not mind taht he was sooooo sweaty.. and i feel really sad 4 him.. i dunnno why.. may be bcuz he really looks so miserable at that moment.. oy for thoses who think that may be i have asecret crush on him.. well dream on..even though he may hav the hunky look, i hate the hunky look..
that's all..
i really wonder wat does it means.. may be it could foresee me falling how strong i may be or wanna to be... wallah eyy.. this looks damn gloomy future.. i hope not.....

3.09 am in singapore

issit fate? i try all my might to avoid him at all cost.. he may live just one level up of mine and his room may be at the end and mine at the other end.. so easy to avoid.. hav not seen him for one week. but my heart have been thinking of him since... y isssit that girls who r in luv, must be so stupid.. then just now.. of all people who are upstairs , he have to be e one who bumps wiz me.. y?? y is it so unfair? he may not have the time to luv me or like me... npw i dun care.. but plz.. no more these coincidences ahh.. my heart will start to think about just impossible stuff , making my life even more complicated... it is too much,, too painful also... i must nott hink about him.. not worth it...
y he does not luv me.. i dunno.. may be he does not feel the spark of destiny that i feel when i see him, the trembling of my little heart when i stare at his picture.. his soo sexy n nerdy eyes..
i wish so much that i could 4get him.. have another crush..